Monday, May 7, 2012

Cheating Easily, But Poorly

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Every summer I look forward to at least one fun-filled day spent on the grounds of Summerfest. Last year was probably the winner and champion of all my experiences at Summerfest. It just so happened that the night I went down to Summerfest with my friends, we were going to see Shania Twain in concert. We were all pumped for the show and excited to be there. We got there about ½ hours before the concert started and everyone was starving so we decided to find something to eat.


After stuffing our face with food we took the Large Pepsi with us as we walked around to the different stages where live bands were playing. One of my friends wanted to go on the sky glider, but everyone declined as we took one stare up at the hanging chair lifts on the wire cable. We all laughed, as we told our friend that maybe next time we would pay a visit to the hang glider. While half way laughing, I went to take a sip of my soda and --oh my gosh! -- I dropped the cup immediately at the sight that I saw. Some adorable sweet heart hawked a lugy in my cup.


Needless to say I must have been the easy target for some idiots, I mean for some hunks to get a few chuckles. If I would have been able to find the culprit would did this sweet and innocent deed I would have personally sought him out to thank him. Truly, he must get the prize award for the best aim because everyone agrees he hit the bulls-eye, hitting the bulls-eye and leaving me with a nauseated feeling, a gagging sensation, a batch of uncontrollable laughter from my friends. This lasted the whole entire night thank you very much…





“Diana, are you thirsty?” my friend Julia asked.


“Ha, Ha Ha! Very funny,” I shouted over the music playing in the background. Of course she started snickering and my other friends joined in right away with her.


Later that night, in the ride home from the concert Julia announced, “My throat is very dry, can we stop to get a soda.”


“Ya, just make sure it is tightly sealed and no one has spit in it,” answered my friend Pam.


As you can see, I will never be able to live this down.


I can’t emphasize how much I love it when guys spit. On the ground, in the water, in the sky. You name the place, I love it. The best is when a guy sucks in his snot and then gargles their saliva to make a big slimy spit ball. How cool is that? I wish there were some place I could take lessons on how to do some of that amazing trick work.


The biggest turn on is that flem rattling sound in there mouth. The fact that guys have lugy contests well, how awesome is that? Sign me up; I know I’ll be the first one in line for that. The one that spits the farthest is the most macho man of them all. Why, if my man came home with that award I just might smooch him.


I especially like it when I’m walking innocently and a handsome guy spits on the ground. Of course, you were too busy day dreaming of your first date with him that you walk right into that pile of goober on the side walk. The fact that you saw him do it and then it was too late to change your path way around the spot of the drop just makes me the happiest person alive. Why that’s got to be the best feeling alive.


The best part about the guys that do spit is not just because they have this single urge to clear their throat. Oh no. Most of them repeatedly form their mouth and shot out their ammunition on a constant basis. Why only do it once when you can use it as a habit?


Now I’m not saying all men have this great habit. I’m just trying to get across the fact how much it attracts me to that certain individual. The women that look at men who do this and call them pigs? Well, I have no idea what they are talking about. Do you?


Cheating is dumb. The essays are of very poor quality.


Thee end.


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