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Certainty at last! So many nights my body has begged for sleep but my mind has not been indulgent. The hours I have daydreamed away pondering infinite possibilities. But now finally, I know exactly what I want to do. I want to study law and practice in the field of international law.
The strangest part is, I have been following this path all along. I studied languages, traveled exhaustively and interested myself in all legal issues. Everyone I know has suggested law school at least once. “You would be such a great lawyer”, is a phrase that I often heard all too often. Yet, I never wanted to make such a commitment without really being sure.
When I was hired by the French government to teach English I knew it was a wonderful opportunity, but not a career. It is for that very reason that I reluctantly declined their request to return for a second year. Upon returning to the United States I tried my hand in everything from restaurant management to coaching tennis, but nothing seemed to fit.
So, I would stay up at night wondering why I could not decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I imagined myself in thousands of different careers yet; I could make up my mind with any degree of certainty. My family would tell me “You can accomplish anything you set your mind to”. Yet, somehow that clich� is rather discouraging whey you cannot find anything to set your mind to.
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Then all of a sudden I knew. No, I did not want to go to law school just because everyone said that I should. I wanted to start a career in an area that encompassed all of my interests and fortes. For so long I searched for a career that incorporated my knowledge of different languages and cultures as well as my interest in legal issues. It is amazing that I did not figure it out earlier. A career in international law fits.
Fortunately, all of my belaboring is now in the past. Interestingly enough, I do not feel as if I have made a decision. Rather, I am continuing on the path that I started on long ago. Now my days are filled with purpose in place of reveries, and I am sleeping much better at night.
Certainty at last! After many sleepless nights and many hours of anxious daydreaming, I finally know what I want to do. I want to become a lawyer and practice international law. Without even realizing it, I have spent most of my professional life preparing to be a lawyer. Almost all my teachers and friends have suggested that I go to law school. I studied languages, traveled extensively and interested myself in legal issues. I frequently heard people say, “You would be such a great lawyer!” Still, I was not certain.
Last year, I was hired by the French government as an English teacher. I had a wonderful time in France, but I sensed that my career was not in education. I declined the school’s request to return for a second year. Upon returning to the United States, I kept searching for my professional calling. I experimented with many different kinds of jobs, from restaurant management to tennis coaching, but nothing seemed to fit.
So I stayed up at night wondering why I could not decide upon a profession. I imagined myself in many different careers, but I could not make a decision. My family would tell me, “You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.” Although I appreciated this bit of encouraging advice, it rang hollow since I did not yet know what I wanted to accomplish.
One night, I realized that what my friends and family had been telling me all along was exactly right. I wanted to start a career which would allow me to capitalize on my intellectual interests and strengths foreign languages and cultures, travel, international policy, and history. Indeed, a career in international law suits me well.
Now that I plan to become a lawyer, I do not feel as though I have completely changed directions. Rather, I am continuing on the path that I started on long ago. I have abandoned the old fears about my future, and I am determined to live up to my vocation.
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